Notes on a Quest....

H1N1...the other kind of flu

Ok, so apparently the Swine Flu is running rampant in Washington State and I am now sick with something horrific.  But then someone told me tonight that there is another really virulent strain of normal flu going around that also hangs you out to dry.  

I'm supposed to be working, and I'm way to sick to even look at code.  This absolutely sucks.  

Anyway, soon I'll get a digital camera fired up so I can start taking some pics of where I live now.

So, did I mention that I put Plan B into full effect?

Awesome...one hour spent writing a FUCKING LONG POST, and one accidental flick of the finger while I sneeze closes the whole window.  

I'm PISSED.

So I'm in Seattle now.  And I live with a stripper who just detoxed from methadone and has two kids with two baby daddies.  I met her in grad school and she took me in here after I overstayed my welcome in Boston.

Did I miss anything?

Nah, probably not.  I'm squeaking by (and squeaking doesn't begin to describe it) on freelance web gigs from craigslist.  I'm so tired of the whole struggling artist thing.

My stripper friend earns about $500 a night.  Too bad I'm not better looking.

45 days...

Until the Man burns...

I have to admit...even though I swore Burning Man off a few years ago (it's fucking EXPENSIVE folks!)..I'm kindof missing it right now. I do have some weird, wild and very fond memories of the experiences I've had there. The last time was for L. and D.'s wedding. Good times. I just WISH I didn't have to drive the day after the reception. My head just wasn't right for that experience. Luckily we had the casinos of Reno and a hot shower to bring me back slowly...

The Great Job Hunt Life Cycle...and Plan B

Greetings again from a cold and rainy Boston area.  Yes, it is late July.  And yes, the weather reminds me of the love child that might result if Portland, Oregon somehow coupled with San Francisco.  Rainy, overcast, temps in the 60's and occasional fog punctuated by the rare sunny day in between storms.

I don't mind it.  If my quest for jobs was taking place in the sweltering humidity that is characteristic of the East Coast during this time of year, I may very well have driven straight to Cambridge and aimed my car right into the river (is it the Charles?) that runs alongside the Memorial Parkway next to Harvard (Hahvaaad...god forbid we pronounce the "r"). 

That way the loan company, to whom I owe payments on the car, would no longer really have anything to threaten me with (i.e. - pay us $150 now or we take the car) AND I would have the added bonus of cooling off or drowning.  And then the Great Job Hunt would be over.  Anyway, what I'm blathering on about here is that I hate hot weather.  Especially humid, hot weather.  UNLESS, I'm in New Orleans for Jazz Fest OR on a rooftop in NYC on a sultry summer evening.  Other than that, I hate summers in the east.  And I hate the winters.  That only leaves two seasons.

Right.  But this post is really about the Great Job Hunt.  So Big Media passed on me this last time.  We covered that I believe in my last post.  Money is also getting desperately low.  I had hoped (expected?) to be employed by now.  I get nervous when I don't work, so after 2 months of looking, I'm a bit of a wreck.  And yes, I'm still living with my friends.

The lifecycle of the whole thing seems to go like this:

1) Initial contact by a recruiter

2) Recruiter talking to me on my pay as you go phone and chewing up precious, pre-paid minutes asking me if I have skills clearly not listed on my resume.

3) Sometimes the occasional recruiter calls who has a job that seems like it's in my target area

4) Set up of initial phone interview...wait two days min. for this to take place

5) Wait for a response after the initial contact for the follow-up technical interview...wait another 3 days to a week

6) Do the technical interview and pray you don't freeze up answering questions because of nerves

7) Wait another 3 days to a week...see if they call you in for the face to face

8) Do the face to face.  Find out 8 people are vying for the position.  Pay your own expenses to travel to the interview, spend the night if need be and get back home...2 days

9) Find out someone else got the job another week later.

10) Rinse and repeat.

So I'm currently in the process of interviewing for two jobs.  One in Long Island, NY and one here.  The one here would involve a good salary and world travel.  Plus, career advancement.  The one in Long Island is also a decent salary, no travel and career advancement...just ina  different way.  The one here would probably be the better pick...if I get it.  I still have two interviews with them to go.  And meanwhile, I've had to resurrect a dead hard drive tonight in order to get all my old code samples off of it and prepare them to be sent to the guy who interviewed me the other day for the Long Island job.  So he can determine if we can do another interview.

I swear, though, if this round doesn't work out, I don't think I can subject my friends to another month of job hunting.  I may just borrow money and head west.  I have it planned out.  It's my Plan B.  One should ALWAYS have a Plan B.  And this one looms large.  Anyone up for a road trip?

But maybe I'll get one of these jobs.  Perhaps this key is to not get excited about the jobs and convince myself I won't suceed.  Then if I do, I'll be surprised.  Plus, isn't that just how the Universe works.  Contrary to one's expectations, hopes and beliefs?

Bad news, bad weather....

It has rained and rained here in Boston over the last 6 weeks.  Tonight we had the fifth or sixth thunder storm roll through since I've moved in with my friends.  Not everything is bad, as the posting title implies.  All is fine for now with my living situation and my friends and I made sure we worked everything out with the dog and so forth...  But the dream job I had interviewed for in NYC called me today to tell me it was a no go because I had too much front-end programming experience and not enough back-end.  Irony is, it's the opposite.  I'm still trying to ferret out the details at how this particular manager arrived at this conclusion about me, but bottom line is, I'm still going to have to find a damn job.

And it's looking more and more like I might be stuck in Boston.  As I typed this last line, the thunder just boomed ominously and lighting lit up the curtains.  Sigh.

When enough time passes....

One thing I've always found that's good to remember is that with any altercation or difference of opinion or burst of anger; it's best to be contrite, remain calm and wait.  Patience is key in human relationships.  

So when I was a bit panicked on my last post, I had to remind myself of all the above and I gave them space and waited.  I took Jacques, the dog who peed on their carpet, out of the house for two days in a row and we spent it exploring Boston some more.  I'm getting used to Boston.  Well...I don't know about used to Boston, but I'm getting to know it.  Ive found a few places in Southie that are to my liking and have even made some acquaintances there with a few Irish folk (Northren Irish).  

It's weird here.  With the Irish in San Francisco I grew used to the fact that they had wholeheartedly embraced San Francisco's nihilistic nature and really had no desire to revisit Irish politics in conversation.  In fact, those whom I met from Belfast often told me they were tired of talking about it, tired of identifying their religious background and so forth.  Rather, they wanted to party.  To be young and not think about war anymore.  The Boston Irish are remarkably different.  Conversely, all they want to talk about is war.  And what they've been through.  That's fine too.  

I mean, in a way both responses are very human and not having ever lived in a war zone, not for me to judge one way or another.  Instead, I'm learning about a whole other side to the Irish culture by listening.  The other thing about the Irish; they are well fucking educated.  Aa construction worker can talk until he's blue in the face about the French Revolution and its impact on Ireland, colonialism and slavery.  I mean, I'm impressed.

Anyway, my friends seem to have shifted gears from reactive back to proactive and I've done the same.  I called one of them while she was at work (my long term friend) and I think we got it all sussed out on the phone to a better place.  At least I hope so.  My whole goal while staying here is to leave a minimal footprint of sorts.  To be as helpful and out of the way as possible.

Meanwhile, I await word on the job in NYC I interviewed for....

Unemployed and...homeless?

I think my gig here at my friends' house will soon come to an end.  Call it intuition born from experience or just good old-fashioned paranoia, but I see the writing on the wall.  My dog apparentlyy peed twice on the carpet while I was in NYC for two days interviewing for a job.  Although, my friend only told me about the one time, so I had that information to go on.

Well today, I woke up early and took him for a walk, determined to stick to the schedule of taking him out every fouur hours.  Then went back to my room, with him in tow, to work on growing my programming skills and staying well out of their way.  At one point, Jacques got up and and I let him out of the room, intending to follow him, but got hung up on something I was working on.  I heard the kids playing with him in the hallway and then the little girl took him into her room and closed the door to keep him in there.  I think this makes him anxious and so he peed in her room (though I didn't know that just yet).  She let him out a few minutes later and he scratched on my door to be let in.  Ten minutes went by and my friend's husband (whom I met as a co-worker about 13 years ago in SF, CA) called my name and gave me a huge chewing out about the dog having a "real problem" with peeing in the house.  And the evidence right there in the girls room.

My other friend was very upset at the whole thing and broke a bowl in the kitchen while I cleaned it all up.  Thing is, the pee is a cinch to clean up as I have a special solution that kills the odor and breaks down the enzymes in dog urine so it lifts right out of the carpet in seconds.  But I don't think that's what they were focused on.  It's more about the complexities of inviting someone into your life with the best of intentions.  Telling that person they have a home and to relax, go ahead and eat the food, use the electricity, yeah, bring the small dog.  And then forgetting what all of that actually entails when you already have two children to take care of and a job to work and on top of it all, a house to maintain.  I don't blame them at all.  I know how someone staying for free somewhere eventually, despite everyone's best efforts, adopts the target on their back.  It's simply inevitable.  I knew it would happen if I couldn't find a job and a place soon.

So yeah, I should have remembered that and stayed put in Western Mass where I at least had housing.  The money I borrowed from my grandmother could just have gone into rent there while I job hunted.  But I was so damn desperate to get out of there...  So here I am.

I've already called the United Way to figure out what housing options I have in the Boston area.  I'm just being proactive in case I don't get this job in NYC.  Experience has taught me to spot the signs of deterioration in a relationship ahead of time and to act quickly to figure out a safety net for when things fall apart.  Which in my life seems to be every six months or so because of finances.  

So tommorrow I'll be contacting the Transistional Assistance program to see about food stamps and the like.  Thing is, I didn't have any money last tax period so I didn't file.  I filed for an extension the year before that, so if they need tax papers from me for the food stamps and for applying for housing, I'm also shit out of luck.  Let's just hope the job thing works out.  Irony is, if it does, I'd be earning more money than I've ever made in my life.

I really wish things could just stablize for once.  I need to get back to my writing life.  Not my survival mode life.

In-between times...

I don't know if I have any readers anymore.  I don't know how I would, actually. I abandoned this project like, a year and a half ago.  And now I'm picking it up again out of the blue.  But hey, this blog is less for others and more for myself.  If someone gets some sort of cathertic Schadenfreude from my strange peripatetic wanderings, dislocations, and vagrancies; well then all the better.  

So, I'm somewhere outside of Boston now.  Having left the Small New England Village that held me captive for so long.  Having finished grad school also, more or less.  By that I mean to defend my thesis in the Fall so I can drag out my health insurance coverage over the summer.  But I do owe the University $500 so I can reinstate in good standing for the Fall and my money situation, as usual, is woefully sad.  I'm in an in-between time, you see.  I often mull over this excerpt from Roethke's poem "The Lost Son" when I think about my "in-between times", which are many:

It was beginning winter,
An in-between time,
The landscape still partly brown:
The bones of weeds kept swinging in the wind,
Above the blue snow. 

It was beginning winter,
The light moved slowly over the frozen field,
Over the dry seed-crowns,
The beautiful surviving bones
Swinging in the wind. 

Light traveled over the wide field;
Stayed.
The weeds stopped swinging.
The mind moved, not alone,
Through the clear air, in the silence. 

Was it light?
Was it light within?
Was it light within light?
Stillness becoming alive,
Yet still? 
A lively understandable spirit
Once entertained you.
It will come again.
Be still.
Wait. 

When looking for this poem, I found that others also dwell on the fact that our very nature as human beings causes us to be cyclical.  In other words, progress is a hard won prize.  Only after repeating ourselves do we learn enough on each repition to maybe move forward a little at a time.  Yes, thus the Syshiphian nature of so much of our existence.  Wow.  

I'm living with friends, as I mentioned in my last post.  Very, very generous friends who I am forever indebted to for allowing me to stay in their home while looking for a job. I am also sometimes afraid that they must be scandalized by me.  They have two beautiful and very young children.  So they have settled into the suburban lifestyle so many parents adopt in order to provide a stable and healthy home.  Me? I'm single and, frankly, I've reached a point in life where I'm embracing the whole "quirky alone" thing as an identity.  I don't run around fantasizing about being in a relationship or having kids becuase, well, I actually like the freedom that comes with being on my own.  What I really need is a job.  Still, I worry that when they trundle off to bed at 11pm every night, they secretly roll their eyes up knowing deep inside that I will be quietly planted on the couch until 4am.  Surfing the internet, half watchig TV, writing, coding, reading, and nipping at the tequilla Ive stored in their liquor cabinet.  

I've always had terrible insomnia.  I take about three Unisomes at night, but I don't often fall asleep until 3:30 - 4:30am.  But I worry that they worry about my polar opposite lifestyle.  That they don't understand.  That it might drive a wedge between us.  I know...I'm paranoid.  The thing is, I do as much as I can to ensure the friendship doesn't suffer from this arrangement as I know they do too.  It's a delicate balance of knowing when to help out (ie. cooking dinner for everyone when the parents are working so they don't have to deal with that task), and when NOT to help out (like when the parents want to jump in and feed their kids because it's fun for them, etc).  So many things in Suburbia for me to get my head around.  

Lately, I've been trying to make sure Im off exploring Boston when they are home to ensure I'm not too underfoot.  And I've been seeing some great parts of Boston.  I still feel more connected to NYC, but I can see why others really love this part of the world too.  More on that later.  I'm working up to that post which should come in the near future.

Oh! And the job thing.  Big Media called me back down to NYC for an interview.  It would be a huge promotion if I get this contract.  It would be a software optimization role involving development and configuration.  And more money.  And living in NYC.  And, and, and....  The list really goes on.  I want this BAD, people.  BAD.

So far I did great on the first interview two days ago,  but now it's a waiting game.  Are my skills the right ones for the job or will one of the other six candidates have better chops?

I need good wishes everyone!  Positive fucking thoughts over here!!!!!  Ok?  Oh I forgot, I probably dont even have an audience anymore...  

Yup.

Some people run off and start new blogs...but not me...

No, I just run off...for, like, over a year.  Sorry about that folks.  i just wasn't in the mood to blog while finishing out my last year trapped in the small village where I was.  It got to the point where I simply crossed days off my calendar until I could leave.  Note to self:  that whole isolated writer's life thing that others seem to enjoy so damned much?  Not for me.  Not at all.  I prefer the city to the country.  That's an affirmative.

So, in short, I was too depressed to write while living in the super, small and depressing New England village located far away from anywhere.

So what have I ended up doing with my life?  Through no choice of my own, the answer thus far is: precious little.  Currently I'm camped out for the start of my second month as a homeless and jobless MFA'er.  But I am trying to use the time to look for jobs during the day, cook meals for the family I'm living with (as they are working parents) and to generally try to stay out of the way.  

The good news is I may actually have yet another gig with Big Media in NYC.  If that works out, then I can finally head south and leave this New England business to those who actually enjoy living up here!

Now, I have to run off and figure out what to cook and put on the table for the family as they'll be home soon!

And so Winter drags on...

I'm going to admit it now.  When I first moved to New England, I totally thought I'd have the whole winter thing dialed in.  Like, I wouldn't fall prey to cabin fever because in my mind, I'd have so many friends from grad school that we'd be too busy visiting and having dinner parties all the time.

So, yeah, I got that one wrong.

I spent close to a month in San Francisco though.  I'm originally from there, so it's "home" in the proper sense I suppose.  Oh that and the fact that I spent 12 years living on Russian Hill before uprooting myself to attend U. Mass.

Anyway, classes start on Monday and I'm relieved.  The last two weeks since I've returned have been full of snowstorms, subzero temps, empty bank accounts and an ongoing search for a new roommate in the new apt I took on two months ago.

So far I've had a few "new agey" guys in their early fifties apply, one dyke in her forties (with no sense of humor unfortunately, otherwise I could give a shit) and one 19 yr old kid wanting to move out of her parent's house. 

So yeah, nothing so far.  I need someone who gets my cynical wit, isn't afraid of drink and meat and who doesn't take offense to my hatred of crystal gazing.  A tall order for the Pioneer Valley.

In other news, I'm working on a new contract with Big Media for this summer.  Weirdly, they really like me.  And have even gone as far as to suggest a nice, high -paying job awaits me when I graduate next spring.  That would be nice.  So I hope I can swing a contract with them for the summer.  God, I just want to go back to New York for a bit.  this whole small town country living thing has me ready to jump off the Calvin Coolidge Bridge!

In the meantime, I'm stuck in the Village.

Anyway, I do have a pet now.  A Betta Siamese Fighting Fish.  I've named him Fish-Fish.  And when I get lonely, I talk to him at night.  Then I do my reading and writing and bury myself in Scotch ad cable TV much later, when trying to sleep.

So yes.  It's been awhile since I've updated.  How many times in previous posts have I said that?  Oh well. Fuck it.

I'm posting now.  Getting ready for spring semester.  And am thinking I'm ready to blog again!

Yay.

As Usual...

it's been sometime since my last update.  I've decided not to feel guilty about it.  Shit.  I'm working two jobs and going to grad school.  Anyway, I moved out of my weird apartment complex and into a place I absolutely LOVE just 5 blocks up the road in the same village.  Of course I decided to move right when two huge winter storms moved through New England.  Needless to say, moving was interesting and adventurous.  Or something like that.

Tonight I'm still in the process of setting up my new place.  All the while listening to Chris Whitley.  Has anyone heard of him?  I saw him twice in concert before he passed away two years ago from lung cancer or something like that.  He wasn't much older than me.  We'll leave it at that.

Last week I gave a reading at the Honors College here at my Univ..  It went well.  I'm learning to be less and less nervous and stressed about these readings.  I'm getting better when I give them and receiving excellent feedback.  Makes me feel good!  And I'm getting publication bites, etc.  That's all I'll say.

In my new apt., I'm on a second floor.  When the storms roar in, I have a front seat view.  When the winds rock our village, I'm the first to feel it.  Let me say...I love it!  Why?  Because I love feeling safe.   Feeling comfortable.   Perhaps even untouchable by the elements.  When I fall asleep, it's by the window while swaddled in a feather comforter...safe in my own assumptions that all will be fine.   Even as the freezing winds shake my building.

Well, hopefully as I settle in, I can write more on here too.  But I've decided to not make any promises.  On Friday, I travel to the West Coast for three weeks.  Hopefully, I can find the $$ to get myself up to Portland, OR. as I have many close friends who live there.  In fact, that alone would be the best present I could give myself.  We'll see.  First I own some money to a few close folks.  If I can swing it, then we'll see.  Otherwise, I'll be shuffling about SF, Ca for three weeks and reporting when I can.

In the meantime....cheers!

I had a dream

Ok, get this.  Last night I dreamed that I lived in this really weird area on the outskirts of New York.  There were strange rivers where all my neighbors fished for blue crabs, shrimp, lobsters and fish.  There were fish markets everywhere.  I had just taken an apartment on the edge of this water, with Manhattan viewable in the distance.  But I was still going to U.M A s s.  So i had a slight problem as I had to get to school to attend classes.  And then I had that classic part of the dream where I  had missed two classes so much, so often, that I forgot where and when they were being held.

So I biked to the train, and then the train took me through Montana to get to Massachusetts.  When I detrained, it was too late to go to school.  So I went to my old apartment.  The next day I was waiting for the train to get back to New York when I bumped into Arsenio Hall and Matt Damon.  Seperately.  I had an intense moment with both of them, much to my amazement.  But Arsenio made the first move, offering me a ride back to New York in his limo.  I accepted.  Matt Damon tried jumping in the back seat, but weirdly, I rejected him.  I was already in love with Arsenio.

He took me to his lavish and beautiful apartment I a neighborhood I'd never heard of before.  But it was gorgeous.  Anyway, we fell in love and lived happily ever after.  He had two cats and one dog and a personal assistant who "approved" of me.

What a freakin weird dream!!!  First of all, it would have been Matt Damon for me.  Anyway,  I slept so long I missed work.  And now have to go to an after work party.  How do you think that will make me look?  I have a weird sleep disorder.  Can't wake up.  What would that be called?

Grad school part II - The good life

It's been a great week aside from the fact that I can't seem to wake up in time for work. Which is more or less ok, as my boss could care less.  He's the one who got me tanked last night anyway.  He bought me four or five drinks and is now insisting I come to a party with him and his family on Saturday. 

Met a nice man this week who was visiting a friend of mine from South Jersey.  All I'll say is that he used to be a professional model and now waits tables in a restaurant.  A very Puck like fellow (in the Shakespearean sense).  Too bad he is gone.  We had much fun!

Tonight I go to the village Pub with J. and K. to play pocket billiards, swill some brew and then hope I can wake early enough to actually make it to work tomorrow.

This weekend, I also have to finish my short story.  I better get on that one.  Oh yes indeedy.

KISS and Halloween

For some really scary shit..

http://www.typepad.com/t/trackback/221461/22832668

Kiss get their first television exposure in 1976 on The Paul Lynde Halloween Special - now on DVD. Stay tuned for some scarrrry disco dancing action with Pinkie Tuscadero (Roz Kelly) as well as such variety show icons as Billy Barty, Tim Conway, Florence Henderson, Betty White, and of course very special co-hosts The Wicked Witch of the West (Margaret Hamilton) and Witchiepoo (Billie Hayes).

Sick in the head

I've been bed ridden for days now with this head cold.  It thing has spread to my lungs and I keep missing work because all I want to do is sleep and sleep.  Today I woke at 11am, went into campus, met with my adviser and then taught.  A friend had given me some Percoset to help with the pain and the coughing, so I drifted into class feeling good and high.  We got a lot done and I finished up my student conferences still feeling half out of it while conversing with my students.  But they all reported that this is their favorite class.  Normally, I would doubt them, but their papers and course work is showing that they really are engaged.  This make me happy.  Like I'm making a difference.  Or something like that.

The Red Sox win was anti-climatic in the end.  I had wanted to go to Boston to see the games with friends, but the Illness prevented me from doing so.

Instead, I've been enjoying the beautiful fall colors, the pumpkin patches, and all the harvest vegetables for sale at roadside stands.  Fall is spectacular here. 

Reading the last of the Harry Potter book right now.  Ready for Denis Johnson next!!!!

Any other good books to recommend for me out there?

What the hell are my dear blog readers reading these days?

Much still to do...

I think the two jobs, school and general lack of sleep have finally caught up with me.  Now I'm sick with an annoying head cold dammit!!!!  That pisses me off. 

In other news, people around are happy for once because the Red Sox made the Rockies look like a AAA team last night.  Sick as I am, I'm still going to drag myself to the Village Pub (not its real name) to see what happens tonight. 

Fall has been lovely here so far.  Colors everywhere and a bit of rain and overcast skies to actually gives us the full feel of it all.  Internally, my writing mind has been at work, but I've been fighting for time to sit down and partake in the act of it.  Reading the new Denis Johnson novel "Tree of Smoke".  Also, I've got to finish my short story.

There is much to do still.....

"wicked mint pissah hammafaced"

From a different perspective, intoxicated Red Sox fan Tony "Anonymous" said "It is my natural-born right as a United States American and as a devoted fan to the Red Sox Nation to get 'wicked mint pissah hammafaced' and destroy everything in sight to express my undying love for the Boston Red Sox." Tony was ecstatic about the game seven victory last night, as he showed off his Boston Red Sox "B" tattoo while screaming "All Bow Down to Pedroia," at the top of his lungs.

-Daily Collegian

Ah, who can really sum up a Red Sox win quite as well as my well educated undergrads at UMASS?   So adorable they are! 

I watched the game at my local townie bar with two other friends and, yes, it was really great.  New Englanders get very excited when their teams win and this in turn guarantees that they will be in a good mood for at least a few days.  That's a welcome thing since the folks in my village tend to be rather reserved, dour and generally unfriendly.   

Tomorrow, I have student conferences.  Ugh. 

Crushed by the weight of Responsibility and other stuff...

I had no idea how taxing it would be to work two jobs (teaching and then twenty hours a week programming) as well as attending classes at school and then giving a reading last week.  It seems that when I get home, all I want to do is catch a two hour nap, then work at grading papers, writing, critiquing fiction from my workshop and THEN going out with friends if I have time.

Then there's also the fact that I recently purchased a domain name and am working on setting it up so it might be worth a few thousand in about 6 months or so...

I got the idea from my boss who owns 50 different domain names and who make s killing off of most of them.  I'd rather not reveal the names here (Google search = employee blogging about work, etc) but from what I've seen, it's not hard to turn a $25 investment into $8,000 within a few months time.

So please, go to my BETA site for discussing LOST TV show type stuff and sign up.  If you post enough and we are in touch, count on a dinner from me.  Or at least drinks.

http://www.lostforums.tv/forums/

And onto other stuff.  I recently won $200 playing Keno and another $150 playing scratch off tickets.  And no, I don't do that crap often.  It was good to get a bit of money, especially since my rent was due and all kinds of weird shit has been going down in my building recently.

My piano composing neighbor was finally evicted from his apartment after spending 4 months in the mental hospital.  He is now being deported to Argentina.  This sucks.  Another neighbor of mine has gone mental over the fact this has happened and seems ready to join him in the psych ward.  Me?  I'm looking for a new place to live.

Can't wait to move outta this place to be honest.

I gave a poetry reading on Friday on campus and I was shocked at how well it went.  One of my friends told me it was the best poetry reading she's ever been to.  Gotta love friends for the ego building eh?  But seriously, it did go rather well.

Other than that, I've been learning how to play pool really well with the local pool shark who has also become a friend of sorts.  He is a Gulf War vet and our politics differ, yet we have a good time debating things a lot.  And I joined a local pool league....  Hmmm...amazing what boredom will drive me to.

Tomorrow, my fiction workshop is critiquing my story. The first one I've written in 14 yrs!  So I'm nervous.  But mainly, I'm doing well.  I may get my mitts on a recording of my reading and for those with nothing else to do in their lives, I'll put a link up here so you can listen, if you are really that interested.  Let's face it though, few Americans are interested in poetry.  A fact I've come to accept.

My class is doing well.  Except for the fact that I OVERSLEPT today and didn't make it in.  So I called a fellow colleague and told her how I'd overslept.  She recommended I make up some bullshit story about how I was on my into class and hit a dog.  But the dog lives because I play hero and take it to the vet.  So I actually DID this.  And yes, I felt guilty.  But it worked.  All the females in my class had total sympathy whereas the guys didn't really care except that got out of having to go to class today.

Basically, I'm as bad as my students.  Oh well.  Do any of you have excuses for oversleeping you are proud of?  Well, share 'em here!!!  It'll make me feel better!!!!

And so Fall begins again...

I'm back to teaching now.  Gone are the lazy days of sleeping in until noon, writing and reading for most of the day and then spending what scant  money I had left on wine and pool at the local VFW Club (where drinks are only two dollars).

Indeed, I even found myself a part-time job!  I work at an outdoor accent place south of Northampton. I do web programming for the guy that owns the business which sells sheds and gazebos.  Yet, he has yours truly doing web programming on some of the many domains he owns (and makes big bucks off of on the side).  He pays me under the table which I'm fine with.

What else?  Well, my cute piano composing/PH.D. candidate neighbor I mentioned a long time ago turned out to be kind of crazy.  The police came by a few days ago and rammed his door in as he hadn't reported into his department or showed to teach his class.  He wasn't there as he had already checked himself into the local psych ward due to a meltdown.  I visited him in the hospital and he seems to be doing better, but will doubtless be evicted as soon as he returns as he's two months behind on his rent and his door is destroyed now.

I'm keeping a low profile on the social scene this time around.  I've got one friend who I'm close to in the dept.  Other than that, I have two friends I've made in the small village I live in here.  One is a pool shark and the other is an artist.  So we play pool a lot.

And I continue to write like hell.  So is anyone still visiting my blog?  How the hell are you?

Adonis....

I just want to say, at this current point in time I'm dating 3 CUTE guys.  They all know about each other.  However, while I thought it might be the pool shark OR the sweet guy with two cute girl toddlers I went out with last night  (what did him in actually was that he reads Stephen King and attends church...so ummm....NO). 

So, in the end it was the Adonis with long brown hair, a full beard, sensitive eyes and a good library who wins so far.  In fact I am typing quietly for certain reasons!  And, he's good at lots of things....

That is all.

Today I leave for New York.  Tomorrow I catch a flight to Albuquerque so I can spend a week in Santa Fe for a wedding.  On Thursday I will be rafting the Taos Box Canyon and doing class 4 rapids.  Top that all you suckas!!!!!

Ha!

Skeletons in the Closets

What many of you don't know is that I spent seven years of my life married to a man from Prague.  Initially it was supposed to be just a green card marriage, but I ended up loving him as a member of my own family.  We were never intimate.  In fact, while married, we dated other people.  But we loved one another.  We were only supposed to be married for 2 yrs but he got sick unexpectedly with cancer and I decided that green card marriage or no, I would stick by him.  Long story short, he's alive and healthy today.  More credit to his than me.

Anyway, just thought I'd post a picture of out honeymoon in Prague for you all to see.  What's funny is we found a cafe with our two astrological symbols.  I'm an Aries (posed underneath that)a nd he's a Sagittarius).

Anyway, a skeleton from the the closet moment.  Anyone out there have one to match????

Pool sharking and grifting!

Well, it seems I've befriended the townies for now.  and I really should stop calling them townies as it's somewhat derogatory and they don't really fit the definition.  One woman carries Emily Dickinson poems everywhere with her in her purse and loves theater and acting.  J., the guy, reads Shakespeare all the time and quotes him with ease.  He also loves to discuss politics and philosophy.  So no, I can't really say they are townies. Just smart locals.  J. has never been to college.  In fact, he has served in the army overseas for god knows how long.  He claims to be in Delta Force or something like that and while at first I was dubious, by the end of our visit I was less so.

J. is also a pool shark.  This is how he makes his living.  I was also dubious of this so he took both V. (the woman who likes Dickinson) and me to a local bar and in one hour had relieved two guys of $75.  It was all done very smoothly with then even giving him their phone numbers in the end asking for more games.  Wow.

So I'm sure King of the Hill, even though his blog is now defunct, will get at least a chuckle out of this.  Since he has pointed out my predilection toward hanging out with grifters and criminals and the such.

Why do you think I read so much Denis Johnson?

I will say this, they have sort of become a nice break from some of the snarky schoolmates I usually hang out with...

Poem for today....

Call Me
Frank O'Hara
 
        The eager note on my door said "Call me,"
        call when you get in!" so I quickly threw
        a few tangerines into my overnight bag,
        straightened my eyelids and shoulders, and        

headed straight for the door.   It was autumn
        by the time I got around the corner, oh all
        unwilling to be either pertinent or bemused, but
        the leaves were brighter than grass on the sidewalk!

   Funny, I thought, that the lights are on this late
   and the hall door open; still up at this hour, a
   champion jai-alai player like himself? Oh fie!
   for shame!  What a host, so zealous!  And he was        

there in the hall, flat on a sheet of blood that
        ran down the stairs.  I did appreciate it.  There are few
        hosts who so thoroughly prepare to greet a guest
        only casually invited, and that several months ago.

Townies....

Well, because I'm a writer, I consider just about everything research.  Including the 3 townies I brought home from my local pub tonight.  But, weirdly, they are very cool and nice and only pleasantly drunk instead of fully in the bag drunk.  Their hostess appreciates this.  On the other hand this having Fridays off is really weird.  I need to find another part time job SOON!!!!!!

Last night an ex-boyfriend called me after much time of not calling one another.  For several hours afterward I tried to watch stupid movies and pretend it didn't affect me until I finally went to my village's watering hole to try and forget about it.  And so I met friends.  Who came back home with me and have been totally pleasant and nice to hang with.  Including one VERY cute guy expressing an interest.  To which I said "Next time we hang out!" And he was cool with that (in other words a gentleman). 

Such is life.

A Day in the Life....

My day today consisted of the following:

1) Got up at 11am
2) Checked email and news and other blogs for an hour and a half
3) Read some drafts of poems that I want to clean up
4) Tried not to hate the imperfections in the writing
5) Did some poetry writing and editing for an hour and a half
6) Browsed Craigslist for another part time job as my $$ is running low
7) Sent about five inquires
8) Downloaded some Microsoft software so I can start learning how to code in a new language
9) Laid back down in my bed for an hour and a half and started working out a short story in my head
10) Realized Denis Johnson's book "Seek" would be of tremendous help for this story.
11) Got up from the bed and spent an hour locating said book
12) Took a shower
13) Realized it's half an hour until I have to go to join my pub quiz team
14) Answered an email from work to make it appear I'm working
15) Updated my blog....

Just in case you were wondering....

John Safran vs God....

Just starting watching his shows on cable.  How have I missed this until now?  He takes no prisoners.  He even makes fun of Michael Moore.  Someone should.....  One may also visit his other website here.....

And here we go...

Back to Actual Posting. 

It was a bit of reader mail that inspired this one.  A certain person I used to cavort with in San Francisco wrote me today letting me know that after 3 or 4 years (how long has it been Chelsea???) she has been reading my blog.  I was flattered as I had no idea.  Actually, now that I think about it, my blog has been serving a really good purpose in the way of friendships.  My other really great friend Chris reads from Portland on a regular basis as does Dave from Davis, CA, a buddy I used to fly with and well, I once buzzed his farm (and no folks, that ain't a euphemism).   So I have decided now that the semester craziness is over, and I no longer have to read 3 novels a week and work 20 hours at my part time job, that what I can do with my spare time is something productive.  Like continuing to bore you all with my weird and haphazard academic, free spirited poetic life in western Massachusetts.

Yay!!!! 

So for starters, I'll give you the run down of my weekend.  Fridays are my days off from my part time campus job (writing and researching grants and "developing" web pages (like simple html and whatnot)).  So my high school friend in Boston pinged me on Google:

Her: "Hey Oedipa, what's up?"

Me:  "Nothing, organizing my tax papers for next year.  Picking the dust balls off my floor.  And wondering where I can score some good heroin.  Do you know?"

Her: "Wow.  You should come visit sometime, the kids always ask about you.  Now that you actually have a Massachusetts driver's license, you can drive to our place too, instead of us picking you up from the Greyhound station like usual."

Me: "Oh! So what are you doing tonight and tomorrow?"

Her:  "Ummm....."

Me:  "Great, I'll be there in 3 hrs!"

To sum it up, I went to their suburban home.  We drank many Mojitos and watched 3 hrs of Battlestar Gallactica (which, even though it is set in space (Katra will agree), it still sexy and vibrant enough for those of us who despise Star Trek).   

Then we went to bed and the next day I rescued my friend from her two small children and we let her man take care of things.  And we went to Boston.  I wanted to see the Museum of Fine Art.  And so we did.  It's a nice museum, and it's big, but between you and me, once you've been to the Metroplitan in NYC there's no turning back.  But the collection of Revolutionary American art was spectacular. 

Then we went outside to the Japanese raked gravel gardens (pics to follow soon).  I was polite and finished my cigarette before we went in.  Once inside we sat in the 85 degree heat and admired the raked gravel.  I snapped a few shots.  A woman came in and sat near us for a bit.  Then suddenly my cell rang.

Now I often will simply turn my cell off when it's interfering with a conversation or when it's inappropriate.  But shit, we were outside.  And there was only one other person there.  And frankly, she seemed fairly checked out.   Long story short...I answered the damn thing, talked for a few minutes only to be confronted by a museum guard screaming at me to leave the rock garden as it was a place of meditation.

My walk out of there was indeed the walk of shame.  My cell phone held at my hip with my friend still yelling over the line "HELLO?  ARE YOU THERE?" and the museum guard giving me the evil eye.

Other than that, the only other entertaining thing was I got to see Ben Franklin's grave and a homeless guy asked me in all sincerity for $50 so he could find the car he parked "somewhere, I can't remember quite where" last night.  I actually had to brief him on how to find an easier mark.

And he and I actually parted with a hug.  I have a way with people I guess.

Still, it was a much needed therapeutic weekend away.

But now that I'm home, I'm finding that, yes folks, Western Mass is GROWING on me.  Unbelievable.  Perhaps it's because the temps aren't -20 below in June.  It's really beautiful here too.

Anyway, a totally random post with no direction.  Who cares.  It's fucking summer and I'm enjoying it.

I'm still here...

Had to make it through the end of semester here.  As well as the New Orleans Jazz Festival.  And a lot of distressing things on this end which I'm not sure I'll go into detail about.

Just know this.  I like being back.  And now that all I have to do is a part-time job, I'll probably be posting a lot more. 

The question for me these days is...how honest should I be?  I mean I'm not funny like Katra is.  I'm shy about sharing my love life unlike KOTH.   And I don't want to sprinkle too many scandalous details about my life here where it might eventually be picked up by some asshat at my university.

So I'm in a quandry as to how to use my blog.  But I want to keep on using it.  Here.  On Typepad.  I tried VOX, but it didn't r0w my boat.

Suggestions welcome.

Love,

Oedipa

I Got It!

I'm sitting here at my stipend job just screwing around.  And why not?  It's a fairly boring job, but who can argue with full tuition reimbursement and a stipend?  Usually I do the web programming for their web site, help them write grants, and stuff like that.  Meanwhile, outside, spring actually decided to make an appearance.  We're talking temps in the 70's folks (without humidity)!

This will probably last for a week and then we'll wake up to temps of 102 degrees and 80% humidity.  Yea New England!  Then we'll all start wondering what the hell was so bad about winter after all....

I had to take a mailing from my office two doors down to the campus post office.  I had no idea we not only shared the same building, but the same floor, as the post office.  This makes me nervous. 

The VT shootings have been in the background of conversations here on campus.  On one hand, I don't really feel like discussing it all too much.  On the other, I wonder what I would have done if I were teaching my class and I heard the shots ring out.  We don't have windows that allow us to jump out in my department's building.  The other thing I've noticed, is how people are using the words like "pure evil" to describe the shooter. 

Turns out the kid had autism.  That coupled with a possibly abusive environment at home or lack of understanding of his disease, no resources to treat it coupled with a pressure for him to achieve may have all been deciding factors in his rampage.  I say this, not in his defense, but rather to understand how human beings morph into rage driven machines.  I mean, think about life in Iraq.  Yesterday 182 people were murdered.  But that's different.  It's war.  Yet, the people driving it I think are very psychotic.  Anyway, the whole VT thing, I wonder what change will come of it in the end?  How can you prevent people like him slipping through the system?

Enough with all that.  It's a beautiful day out and I'm going to a Yo La Tengo (which means I Got It! in Spanish) concert tonight with friends.  This will be the fourth time I've seen them.  And still, I leave the ironic tee shirts and horn rimmed glasses at home.

 

 

Neighbors...

Apparently, I do live in a strange apartment building.  One of my next door neighbors is someone I like to refer to as "Stop and Shop Deb".  She works at the local Stop and Shop grocery store.  And she doesn't like it when I play music during the day.  She responds to my Wilco and Postal Servce and assorted jazz by slowly and rhythmically pounding on my wall.  And I turn it down.

The other next door neighbors I never see.  Plus, they have a baby.  Who I never hear.  Dean, who is seriously bipolar and subject to mood swings every ten minutes, lives upstairs from me.  He is a musician and actually entertaining to hang out with...as long as I keep in mind the mood swings.  Next to the baby couple, two doors down from me,  lives Walter.

Walter is interesting.  And cute!  As well as anxious and neurotic, a brilliant, brilliant pianist and seriously smart with an acid wit.  He's from Argentina and he's German and Jewish.  Yes, we're friends, but I'm workin' it folks!

Anyway, he now drops by my apartment once a day.  We sit and drink pomegranate juice and talk about how we wish we were in NYC.  Although, I think I've introduced him to a pretty good core of my friends (since there are only two people in his dept. and he's had a tough time meeting people while holding down two teaching jobs).  So he's been having a pretty good time with being social again and my friends love him.  So far, so good.

So, even though the whole living in a small village was looking dour at first, I'm starting to warm up to things.  And feeling better about being here for the summer (as well as the next two years).

Jesus Christ...Superstar!

Well, a few of my other blog friends pointed out that Sunday was Easter.  And we all pondered that dead guy named Jesus for about a second or two before returning to our daily lives.  I still don't really know what all the fuss is about, but as a kid I used to love the candy.  Other than that, I find organized religion kind of boring.  Chalk it up to wearing a uniform most of my life.  In fact, I was even suspended in high school for skipping church.  Where did they send me?  TO THE LIBRARY!  Their next big mistake was asking me to write a paper concerning religion (apparently they thought this novel approach would drill the love of god right into me..sort of like a nail through the hand).  So I wrote that paper.  And for that week I spent in there, I read Kant, Sartre, Kierkegaard, and Nietzsche.  Fun was had by all when I turned that sucker in. They kind of left me alone after that.

Anyway, here's a late Easter present for everyone.  Have fun!

Orbiting the Earth X amount of times

So I'm now three hours into the age of _____.  Three hours because I suffer from a bad case of insomnia.  Anyway, I have nothing profound to say just yet.  Give me time!  I'll come up with something.

And, since my blog page sends posts that are exactly a year old into the archives, I found this post from a year ago.  Anyway, once I post this, it will archive.  So I'll include the link.   What the hell.  I am slightly drunk at this point.  Damn these friends of mine!

Well, here's my horrorscope this year:

Aries March 21 - April 19

  Scientists will be amazed when new quantum-radar technology reveals that most of the dense, fast-moving, fist-sized objects in the universe are headed straight for your testicles.

Good thing I don't have testicles.  Anyway, I'm off to bed.  A year older and none the wiser.

I took quite the break...

didn't I?

That's the thing about blogging.  after 4 or 5 years of keeping it up, one is likely to want to take, without warning, a month long break.  Anyway, I'm back.  My Spring Break was almost too nice.  Being in New York makes me forget all my problems.  then I return to Western Mass. and remember them all over again. 

Well, all that aside.  I've got my car back, at least physically.  I'm still trying to find a way to get my car to an inspection station and myself to the RMV (DMV in other states).  It's near impossible without the expensive help of a cab company AND a towing company.  But it has to happen.  Today I took a CAB to CAMPUS!!!!!  It was $17.50.  I say screw that.  But this is NOT NYC.  I am not "from aroun' here" and I do prefer big cities.  So sue me.  Or at least hope that I get me frickin car straightened out in the next week.  It's the only thing standing between me and sanity.

Spring...

Yes, well, a foot and a half of fresh snow doesn't exactly scream spring! does it? It was quite a blizzard we got hit with.   I was working on campus Friday when the storm rolled in.  I got off the bus that had taken me to campus (a typical half hour ride) just as the first flakes began to spiral out of the sky.

Four hours later, we couldn't see out of the windows and I knew it was time to go.  So I trudged through the wet accumulation to my bus stop where I waited with about 50 other students for 45 minutes in the onslaught.  When the bus finally pulled up, I was lucky to be one of the first on and scored a nice heated window seat.

Where I sat for the next 2 hrs as we tried to make our way from Amherst to Northampton.  The blizzard was gusting outside and we could hardly see other cars.  I caught up on some much needed reading time, but really had to use the bathroom.  Like it was pretty serious folks.  And there was nothing I could do.

2 hrs later, when I got to Northampton, I saw the ACTUAL bus that would take me to my smaller village 2 miles away.  I couldn't believe it.  Especially since it doesn't run very often.  So I had just figured I would have to hire a taxi to get home (and wait five hours for an available cab somewhere that might still be open).  But there it was...idling in front of us as my vessel swung in to drop us. 

I got on and as the bus driver kept trying to stammer something to me, I ignored him and dropped my money in the slot.  Others poured on too.  Then the driver just said, "Well, screw it then.  I'm not supposed to take you yet, but it's bad out.  You're in for a long ride."

So there we were.  There I was, bathroom issues and all, clenching my teeth as we slogged through the wet snowy streets.  Every now and then the bus tires would slip in the ice and the bus threatened not to move.  But the bus driver was a wonderful man who just persevered.

Eventually, he needed a coffee.  So we pulled over at a grocery store where we ALL piled off to buy drinks, use the bathroom (ahem) and buy other supplies.  Twenty minutes later we met again on the bus and were on our way again.  An hour and a half after I had boarded that particular bus, I was getting off in the snowy dark in front of my apt.

Where I've been holed up ever since. 

So welcome to spring break in New England.  Tomorrow, I'm making a break for NYC.  I can't wait.  I now know the true meaning of cabin fever.  Not a pretty thing to experience at all. 

Briefly....

It was -20 degrees Fahrenheit today (because of the damned wind chill or whatever). 

And I still don't own a pair of long johns. 

That is all.

Back from the Boston funeral

Wow.  Get a bunch of MFA poets and fiction writers together, send them all to a funeral in Boston, and weird shit tends to go down.  I would say that two friends were especially grief-ridden (especially since one of them was attending his own mother's funeral and we were there for support).  The other one was his girlfriend, of sorts, even though she's married and lives in the west. mass. area with one 2.5 yr old child.  She and her husband have an open relationship. 

As for the rest of us?  We muddled through.  Two of my friends were half an hour late for the funeral.  Then later at the reception as we were all smoking our cigarettes outside, one of them made some offhand crack about how I should plan things better.  Plan things better?  I wasn't the one late the funeral!  Oddly, she was referring in fact to my inability to catch the train the night before.  In my defense, I only called around for a cab 2 hrs before my train was to leave and all the cab companies were busy.   That's right.  Too busy to pick me up in an hour and a half and drive me the 15 miles to the train station.  God bless living in a small New England town. 

So I took a bus.  And for this I was accused of not planning well.  So that made me feel a bit pissy.  Then as the reception continued, I felt some bad memories kicking up of someone I lost a few years ago.  So I sat outside for most of the damn thing trying not to cry and chain smoking and staring at the snow. 

Later we drove an hour to get to some restaurant in the North Shore.  Apparently this was only supposed to be a 20 minute drive, but then again I wasn't in charge of the direction and the planning.  So I sat quietly in the back.  The drive home took even longer as they tried a shortcut.  That took 1 hr ad 20 mins.  I was so ready to collapse in my own hotel room bythen.  And it felt good to sprawl out on the gianormous King bed and watch crappy cable while drinking bad Pinot Grigio.  By the next day, everyone was in better moods. Leave it to a funeral I guess....

Now I'm home.  The crappy apartment setting up never ever seems to end.  Small boxes packed with misc. shit take an hour to sort through.  Keep or throw away?  And I really should start polishing my poem for tomorrow's workshop.  Yay!

Anyway, other than that, spring break is approaching.  What should I do?  Open to suggestions.  Non-expensive ones especially.

exteme makeovers, etc

Well despite the broken wrist and the black eye, things are looking up.  I'm getting in a few hours a day of writing.  I'm happy to report that I feel back in my "Writing skin" so to speak.  I was struggling for a few weeks after the abrupt move back to get back in my groove.  Now, the poems are forming and taking shape and flowing out of me.  They need constant care and feeding though, in the form of drafting.

I'm reading two novels a week plus a book of poetry.  On top of all this, I'm watching Home and Garden TV for tips on how to really set up my apartment in this small New England village to look bright and cheery.  And on how I can maximize my space for dinner parties and LOST TV parties. 

Right now, more than half the boxes are unpacked.  Of course, most of those were books.  Hundreds and hundreds of books.  All of which are now proudly ensconced in my ceiling to floor walnut brown IKEA bookshelves.  I still need at least two more bookshelves though.

It's been snowing on and off the last few days.  The snow is crystalline and beautiful.  It jewels under the streetlights at midnight.  I like the fact we're getting a bit of snow these days.  Gives me that inward writing feeling.

This Friday, I'm traveling with several friends to Boston as one of our friends lost his mother to brain cancer.  He was taking care of her all the way and held her hand while she died.  So he wants us there for the memorial on Sat.  We'll rent a motel room and try and see a bit of Boston while we're at it.  I admit, I'm not all that familiar with Boston as I don't know anyone who lives in the city proper.  It seems like kind of a big deal to go downtown for the day, so I've only done it once.  Perhaps renting a room with other Grad Students might make this interesting, despite the unfortunate circumstances.  I guess we'll stay Sat. night too. 

Anyway, I should get back to my extreme home makeover.  And prepare for another episode of LOST tonight, something I can't seem to get enough of these days.....

It done broke on me....

Turns out my wrist isn't sprained...it's BROKEN!  I had more x-rays and I received yet more Vicodin.  Anyway, lots of pain.  In other news, I wrote a good poem last night and finally got something I felt worth its merit for workshop.  Then spent the rest of the evening going through boxes of old letters and memorabilia I haven't laid eyes on in 15 years.  Yes, some very meaningful love letters and breakup letters were in there.  Brought back some vivid and wonderful memories.  And I purged lots of other crap I'll no longer be needing.  The apt. is coming along.  Soon you can all come over for dinner.

Viewer discretion advised...

Here are two pics of my black eye.  Let this be a lesson.  Don't slip on the ice folks!    In retrospect, it would have been funnier if I had been drunk.  Too bad I wasn't.  Of all the times not to be....

Gravity's Rainbow....

So I type this with my left hand in a splint and my left eye swollen shut and COMPLETELY BLACK with tinges of red and yellow on the outside.  It's like an ugly rainbow. It's really flattering. Now, I'm getting those kind of looks on the street where others instantly assume I have one of THOSE boyfriends.  Amazingly, I received my concussion above my left temple.  I have no idea how the swelling and discoloration spread to my eye.   

It made for a great story at a program party last night and garnered me much sympathy.  Plus, I had a fun story to tell.  And I still have loads of Vicodin left to help me with the latest 400 pg novel I'm reading which is due Mon. 

My excuse reveals itself...

in the form of a concussion!  And a sprained wrist.   

Last night I went to a reading which featured many of my comrades here at the Program.  Afterward, we went to a local pub for drinks and merriment.  It was actually a good time.  Everyone was in high spirits and flirtatious moods.  I had about three glasses of wine.  Around midnight, my two friends and I decided to leave as today was going to be my first day at work. 

It's been very icy out as the snow sort of melts during the day and then freezes at night.  While descending the stairs from the pub, I was talking about something or another to one of these friends and then I stepped on a patch of ice.  At the very top of the stairs.  I don't remember falling.  All I remember was both of my pals hovering above me anxiously saying my name.  I guess it happened so fast, they don't even remember how I fell.  All we know for sure is I tumbled rapidly down ten or eleven steps onto the icy sidewalk below.

As I sat up, I noticed that I had an orange sized lump on my forehead, I couldn't move my wrist and my pants were split open at the knee and I was bleeding.  Anyway, we went straight to the hospital and although I don't remember much, apparently I was coherent all the way, even making jokes and whatnot.  I don't remember much about the hospital visit either except that I had xrays and a CAT Scan. 

In the end, it was concluded it was a miracle I survived or didn't end up with a broken neck.  The doc thinks I have a pretty thick skull.  Perhaps he was flirting with me?   

So I spent the night at a friend's apartment where she woke me every 5 hrs to make sure I was still alive.  Now I'm home with a bottle of Vicodin and all I want to do is to watch bad movies on cable.  I was supposed to go to a reading tonight as a requirement for this workshop I keep missing, but I think I'll miss that too.  Ah well. 

At least I'm relatively ok.  And I now have a great excuse for not being in class.  Ha!

Strike two....

Well, I heard Friday that yours truly has found a stipend job at the university.  I'll be writing grants and doing web programming.  A strange combination to be sure, but I only have to put in 15hrs a week and my tuition and healthcare are paid in full.  Plus, I'll probably get a small stipend to live on.  It will require, however, that I roll out of bed early two days a week.  I'm not thrilled about that as I'm terrible at getting up before noon. 

While this may sound irresponsible and lazy to some, well, it just makes sense to me.  I go to bed around 4m usually, so what do you expect?    I've always been a terrible insomniac.  At least I'm usually doing very important things while awake.  Like getting sucked into another movie on cable.  Out with friends.  Or even reading and doing homework.  Which is what I was doing all night last night.  I read a novella, a book of poetry and then worked on a new poem for several hours.  By the time I looked at the time, it was 4am.

So I went to bed yet forgot one small detail.  I didn't set my alarm.  So imagine my surprise when I woke up today and looked at the clock only to find that it was 2pm!  So  I missed my workshop.  This is the second time in less than a month.  And the woman running the workshop is also the head of my dept.   How do I explain that one to her in an email?  I already used the sick excuse (and I really was sick) once. 

Creative excuses welcome....

Snow day???

Well, it's 11pm and I'm sitting at home doing laundry and not studying.  I should be studying, but I happen to think tomorrow isn't going to happen.  A big winter storm is bearing down on us tonight and it looks like we'll take on 10-20 inches in the am through the afternoon.  Let's hope.  Then I won't have to discuss any Post-Colonial Lit theory tomorrow.  And my friends and I can while away the day drinking Irish coffee drinks and watching movies.

In other news, it looks like I have scored a stipend job.  Since I'm not teaching this semester, I had to pay the powers that be here at the Univ. to the tune of $7,500.  Ouch.  That's because I'm still out of state (resolving that status to be in state this week).  Anyway, I had the interview today and it's a job that would go through the summer.  So I may actually be in one place for more than a few months if I land it.  And if I get it, all my tuition is refunded to me, my health insurance (which includes 80% dental) is paid for, plus I'll get $1,200 a month to live on.  That would be really helpful.

Anyway, I'll reveal more about the job on Friday when I hear for sure.

Chelsea Hotel....New England style

Why oh why did I order cable TV?  Bad move on my part.  For I have not moved from the couch all day and now it is 2:00pm.  I also got a landline installed and more importantly....internet.  Yes!  Now I can continue blathering about whatever random thoughts enter my brain on this blog (during commercials of course).

But I think, after finishing this entry, I will actually get up, shower, break down the 25 empty boxes sitting in my hallway (shared with my neighbors) and actually read an essay on post-colonial theory.  Because I just love reading essays on theory.

Actually, the professor for this class is pretty cool (aside from his Bristish accent and impeccable manners).  But I really like him because he admits that theory is too often used to keep certain academic careers alive. Like Post-Colonial Literary Theory.  His approach is to study it, but really stick to the texts of the books we're reading to see if the theory is earned.  To ensure it is organic.  Which is cool.  I can do that.

I've met another neighbor in my building.  His name is Dean and he's kind of cute too (like my new pianist friend two doors down).  Dean has invited me up for coffee.  Today he stopped by, tapped on my door and I answered it (flatteringly enough) in my pajamas with my messy hair standing on end.  I covered this all up by pretending to be sick.  But this lazy lifestyle will have consequences for me in this building since now my neighbors drop by all the time.  I'm going to have to project an image of being "with it" I supppose.   Which may mean I will have to really be "with it".   Hmmmmm.

This building is weird. It's like the Chelsea Hotel set way out in the wilds of New England in a small village.  It seems to be populated with characters; intruiging single young men, and strange local "townies" who work the night shift at the local Stop 'N Shop. 

Ah well, I should get to my responsibilities.  Damn it.

Hipppies, sun eaters and friendly, friendly New Englanders....

I think it finally hit me yesterday, after waiting in sub zero temperatures for 20 minutes for my bus, that I was back in New England.  That I had ditched the high paying job and yet again moved my shit here for grad school.

The bus I was waiting for (20 mins in sub zero temps may I again remind you) never came.  I have the bus dispatcher's number on my speed dial (yes, this is a frequent and daily process) and called him only to learn my bus was stuck in some other small New England village for some unknown reason.  So I had to take another bus that winds its way around the environs of my village and then ponderously crawls via the industrial road to the next village over.  In that village I need to wait yet again for the next bus that FINALLY takes me to U. M ASS.  This is all because I need to get my car registered, get a license and get insurance.  Which is hard to do when you don't have a car to GET to the DMV in the first place.  Yes, this is a nightmare.

When the other bus finally came, I got on and I flashed him my student ID (here we get to ride the system for free with the ID).  And what friendly, friendly (and fucking typical I might add) response do I get from the old codger behind the wheel?  "I DON'T TAKE STUDENT IDs MISS!!!!"

I mean, he yelled it.    The others on the bus looked away.  In NY, someone might have stepped up for me at that point, but here in chilly Mass. everyone minds their own business.  How do you think so many witches were burned at the stake?

Anyway, I politely informed him that I was under the impression that I could use my ID on the bus line and he impolitely yelled back that I couldn't and that I had better pay up.  Fuck.  It was only a dollar so I gave it to him and huffed to the back where I sat for the rest of the ride glowering at him in the rearview mirror.

Welcome back to Western Massachusetts.   

My neighbor, a pianist from Argentina, came over last night for a cigarette and a beer and to introduce himself.  Not 5 minutes into the conversation, after finding out I'm not from these parts, he leaned over and said, "Can you believe how awful the people are here?  How rude and unfriendly?"  I had to agree and to this we drank a beer.  So perhaps I've made a new friend.

I'm currrently sitting in a cafe located in my village.  This is the only cafe in my village.  I naively walked in at 3:30 hoping to spend the evening here writing, but was informed by the pale and skinny vegan hippy behind the counter that they close at 4pm.   4 pm.  I looked around.  The place was packed.  With hippies of course, but hippies eating their stupid vegan food and drinking their coffee.  Hippies spending money. 

I told her I had just come in from New York and maybe I didn't understand the ways of life yet in the Village.  She looked and me and smiled and responded that frankly she found the Village to be too big for her.  She could never imagine the likes of NY.  So I bought a rather bland tasting vegan chili burrito and I sit here eating it.  Blogging now instead of working, because what's the point.

Interesting fact shared to me by someone who had once lived here a while.  There is a commune of people who live outside of Northampton called the Sun Eaters.  Apparently, they are raw foodists who believe eventually they can wean themselves off of raw food and just live on the sun's nutrients ALONE.  Eventually they want to feed themselves by sitting in the sun and just soaking up the rays.

First of all, good fucking luck in this weather and second of all, have they mentioned this technique to those displaced folks in Darfur?  Hell, who needs food!

And with that folks, I welcome you, and me, back home to Western Massachusetts. 

the life of the mind...

Well, I am now back at school. The other Grad Students keep saying to me, "Wow, you really DID come back." Apparently, the rumor mill had it that I had slipped out the back door claiming I was doing an independent study from which I would never return. Nope. I've actually returned to the "life of the mind". Which loosely translated means poverty and isolation in a small New England village for the winter.

But there will be lots of books to read. I signed up for this one course that pretty much defines the Grad School experience here. It's supposed to be held from 1:00 to 3:30 once a week. And we discuss a book. No paper is required. Two or three of those weeks we're just going to be watching films. And drinking.

Apparently most of the seminar will be held in a local bar. I guess last semester it got to the point where students were actually mixing containers of drinks and bringing them into the workshop this prof taught in the Fall.

So naturally I HAD to sign up for this one. And indeed, after forty five minutes of rambling digressions on various literary and non-literary matters, class ended and everyone headed for the bar. I could not go along as I'm desperately trying to track down an assistantship right now to cover my tuition. I would be teaching, but since I missed teaching in the fall, I can't teach in the spring. Which screws me a bit. But hey, at least all my other debts are now paid off. And I don't have to deal with those annoying students for a term.

In other news, I don't yet have internet at my new apt, cable nor do I have my car registered and insured. Life and it's various tasks. They can be consuming. So for now, I will be posting randomly from campus.

Action Packed....

So I'm writing this from San Francisco.  My going away party took place at a jazz club in Harlem.  Some friends came by and much fun was had.    The pics are below.

Saturday night I attended Burns Night at the Edinburgh Castle which was pretty much the same as always. Jack the bagpiper (who also starred in "So I Married An Axe Murderer") marched up and down the packed bar playing his pipes.  People got drunk.  Burns poetry was read by a few, including a Zen Scottish Nun (remember, I'm back in California folks), and whiskey was poured over the haggis which was then consumed promptly by the hungry hordes.

I saw friends and it all generally felt pretty good.  Today, I've just been wandering around SF in a fairly meditative mood.  I really don't miss it here.  So far, moving out East has been a good move.  SF moves too slowly for me I think.

Anyway, I head back to NY on Thurs, pack Friday and move into my new apartment up in Massachusetts on Sat.  Action packed indeed.

And then there's working from work.....

Shortly after writing the below post, I felt somewhat tired (blogging can be quite exhausting).  Also, no doubt, sleeping until 10:15am just wasn't enough rest for me this morning.  As I rose from my chair to fetch some coffee, I turned to find my one coworker left in my quadrant of cubicles sleeping and actually SNORING on his keyboard.

In case you doubt me, I offer you photographic evidence courtesy of my camera phone.

Working from home...

Well, just so you all know, Manhattan did not blow up.   The gas leak was caused by the toxic swamps in New Jersey releasing whatever builds up in their polluted wastelands.  So that's what happened.

But now I'm finding I don't need a mere threat of toxic gas floating over Manhattan to keep me from showing up to work.  Nay.  All I need is to sleep later and later and keep "working from home".

Gradually, others have caught onto this.  Today I received an Instant Msg from my boss at 9:15 am (this is how we keep track of one another...instant messages).  Of course I wasn't up at 9:15.  I was slumbering away until 10:15.  When I finally got up and answered her IM, I was a bit scared I'd been found out, but all  she wanted was to tell me she wasn't coming into work.  So, it seems I've set a precedent.  I IM'd another co-worker, out of guilt really since it has been a week since I've shown up to work, and she even encouraged me not to come in.  Apparently all the bosses were "out sick", "working from home" or just taking the day off for no apparent reason.

But I figured I might as well see what the environs of my office looked like again, so I caught a train and drifted in around noon.  Still pretty much the same.  Then I had to talk to someone for an hour on the phone for a personal call, after which I went and fetched some lunch.   Now it's 2:35 and I have to leave by 4:30 to make a doctor's appt I have.

I suppose I really should get started on this documentation they assigned me.  A month ago.  Might be a good idea to finish it before leaving Friday for a week's visit to the west coast.  After which I move back to Massachusetts and into the new apartment I just found last week.

Everything's going to be just fine....

I've always been an insomniac.  Now, that I've practically become a teetotaler, I have an even worse time finding that nice restful sleep the rest of my friends seem to have no problem with.  So I didn't drift off last night until around 3am (this after taking a sleeping pill at midnight).  However, I did have the end of Alias Season 4 to help me out.  Why was I reminded of the film "28 Days Later" in the last episode?  And is it me, or are there a ton of similarities between Lost and Alias?

Now onto more pressing matters.  Since I fell asleep at 3am, I woke late....around 10:20.  I suppose we're all supposed to be in the office by 9 or 10.  But rarely do I see this actually happening.  Many of my co-workers roll in around 10:30.  I've been rolling in around 11am. 

Today, I checked my work email as I got ready only to see some sort of semi-ominous message from a Head Manager at Big Media..."Due to the circumstances...blahblahblah....don't bother coming in.  Work from home."

Usually I turn on the news right as I wake up just to make sure Manhattan is still there (another good reason to live Uptown, safely away from the crosshairs).  So I turned on the news and found out about the giant, enormous and pervasive gas leak all over Manhattan. 

Cool.

Now I don't have to go in.  And my co-workers are so freaked out that many who showed up earlier simply "evacuated".  So, as far as I'm concerned, today is a freebie.  Well, sort of.  I have some documentation to do, but I'm taking my laptop to a fun coffee shop for a much needed change of scenery.

Oh, and let's hope Manhattan doesn't blow up today.  The mayor (who most New Yorkers can't even recognize on sight) assured us everything was going to be just fine.